Attention Overachievers: You Have Permission to Let Go

I can’t imagine what has happened to all of the slouches.

Almost everyone I know these days is obsessed with their personal productivity and performance. Whether it’s hitting a profit target, or getting more page views on a blog, or just making ends meet, I am surrounded by a cloud of witnesses – hyper-responsible and ambitious souls – driven by some looming pressure to deliver results and add value.

I can practically hear the value-added theme music playing in the wake of the path they cut.

Which is all well and good, except that I have found myself habitually conforming to this performance grid in my head which says, “More! Not enough! Keep pushing!” It’s like I can’t stop for one nanosecond just to allow myself to take a deep breath.

And let’s be honest – this can get carried away. Instead of coming home at a decent hour to spend time with the fam for dinner, then sitting by the fire in an overstuffed chair listening to classical guitar music with a nice glass of Sineann Merlot, we convince ourselves that staying at the office to finish off those last couple of spreadsheets is the better choice. Like the work we are doing will prevent the earth from spinning off its axis.

I worry that we are losing perspective.

I have a friend who frequently attends evening meetings that may go until 11 pm. Then he insists on dragging himself out of bed the next morning at the crack of dawn in order to make it in to work at the “normal” time. God forbid that he makes up for it on the other end and come into work an hour later than usual! But really, would that be such a Thing? No, but the hamster in our mind won’t hear of it.

We are pushing ourselves so hard, like we have to know everything and be everywhere, and we don’t know when or how to stop. Yet we are loathe to give ourselves permission to be off the hook, for fear of lost productivity, or slipping behind, or just looking bad.

Esther Sternberg, in her book, “The Balance Within” talks about the mounting scientific biomedical evidence that links the care of our spiritual selves with the health of our bodies. She says we must stop and take care of our spirit in order to maintain our overall health and productivity, to avoid chronic disease, depression and burnout.

Listen, I know you are all working very hard. But I am here to say it is enough.

Sometimes all we need is a little reminder, a sort of self-permission slip that allows us to take care of ourselves. So here you go.

You have permission to come in to work an hour later after being out at that meeting until 11 pm the prior evening.

You have permission to stare into space and do nothing for several minutes per day.

You have permission to wander in bewildering confusion for a period of time.

You have permission to take 30 minutes a day to do something you love.

You have permission to be gripped by fear for a few moments before taking that next step.

You have permission to take a day off, for no apparent reason.

You have permission to shut the office door and take a nap right smack in the middle of the day.

You have permission to put your health and family above all of your work and career demands.

Go ahead, add some more. What is it you need to give yourself permission for?

Photo by Nance Marie, used with permission.